This loneliness

It’s like an emptiness

One that never goes away

One that always remains

It lurks around in the depth of my soul

It prowls around trying to devour me

Trying to drown me

I’m trying to swim

Swim away from its consuming darkness

Swim away and yet

Yet I feel a heaviness

Like an anchor is tied around me

Tied around my ankle

As I try to reach the surface

Try and take a gasp of air

So that I can breathe a moment before I

Once again find myself drowning

I’m fighting

Tears streaming now as I cry out to

The One who rescues

I’m reaching up my hand and calling His name

Pleading with Him to throw me a lifeline

One that will stop the drowning

And yet as I’m crying, begging, pleading

My voice is drowned out

I’m sinking

And quickly at that until only my hands are showing

And then nothing

I’m hitting the river bed now

My lungs fill with water

I struggle for my last breath

Because in my loneliness

He never answered

And so I drowned.

 

-Wangui M

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