My heart drops,

My voice shakes,

Tears stream…

Drop by drop

Staining my cheeks,

With deep streams

For the years I’ve cried

For the years my heart

Has been broken...

Piece by piece

Each bit of flesh

Ripped off,

Torn apart,

Harder than the last.

My heart shakes…

Sadness perhaps?

No…

Deeper.

Despair,

It chokes me

As I think about

Where,

And when,

And how

 This is all going to end.

As I think…

About the wreckage I’m standing in–

The ashes melodically,

Rhythmically fall

With my flowing

Tears.

…And then,

Fear strengthens the grip

That despair has

Around my neck.

Barely breathing now,

My heartbeat slows,

My breathing shallows

As the tears too—they begin to

…Dry up.

And as I struggle to breathe,

My last breaths…

I think how it is,

That this will…

End.

How is it that I’ll fix this,

Because this time,

I realize that I’m on my own.

Because the One that was once there,

Became the one that

Was ripping me apart.

And so I left,

And no longer with that option...

It’s either surrender,

To One or the other

Yet both have broken me…

And I can’t tell,

The trustworthy of the two.

The tears have dried now,

My voice has become…

Faint.

My breaths are escaping

Out of  my chest…

Disappearing from my tired lungs.

As I struggle for my last bit of…

Life.

As I struggle for my last taste of hope,

I’m filled with regret…

For when I trusted in One...

And left the other,

I didn’t imagine…

Never fathomed...

This very fate.

The fate

To which my heart,

Is shattered beyond repair.

The fate

To which

It is in danger

Of no longer beating.

When will this end?

Despair answered my hearts pleas,

Fear echoed its response.

“Your nightmare,

Became your reality”.

Written by Wangui Muya Dec 23, 2017 (Nairobi, Kenya)

 

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